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Ohhhh registries. A few months ago, Mr. Buttons and I started our quest to build them. And I immediately felt like I was going to break out into hives once we began the process. I thought this was supposed to be fun????
To start, we hit up one of the main go-to stores for wedding registries, as I figured it would be a good location for some of the basics. We walked up to the registry counter and sat with the coordinator, who then outlined the process for us. It was at this point that I realized that I, Miss Buttons, am going to be a registry rebel...for a number of reasons.
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Rebellion #1: GASP! I am not picking out china!?!?!?!
Registry lady (lets just call her Sally from here on out) sets out a huge catalog in front of me, and then proceeds to ask me if I'd picked out a china pattern yet.
"Oh...we won't be needing any china, thank you!"
"But, it is your wedding; this is the only time you are going to be able to ask for something like this!"
"Well, it is more for practical reasons. We just won't use china enough to warrant purchasing it. And, I don't want to have to pay to complete sets if I don't receive all of the pieces. I would rather have 2 sets of 'everyday' plates, and have the ability to replace them down the road if I don't like them anymore."
....huge eyebrow raise from Sally..."well we do have some everyday china patterns that you could pick out! And what about crystal and silverware?"
"No no...thank you, but I am really not interested in anything like that."
Ladies, from one bride to another, I would just be honest with yourself - are you going to use china? If it is important to you and you will use it, then by all means, register for the china and crystal! But, if you are anything like Mr. Buttons and I, any china that we would receive would sit in a cabinet until Christmas, Thanksgiving, or Easter. And, since we are both very close with our families, the two of us will most likely spend those holidays with one or both of them...so we wouldn't even be using it! Mommy Buttons owns china and rarely uses it, and she agreed with me that it would not be the most useful item to register for!
In the end, Sally kind of shrugged, maintained a quizzical look on her face, and then decided to just moved on with her info session, which then led to....
Rebellion #2: I don't care about quantity (ok, I do a LITTLE bit)
Sally asks me how many guests we expect at our wedding. I reply: "probably about 120-ish."
"Ok, so you should register for 3 items per guest that you expect: that is 360 items."
Gulp. Ok, so I know that it is the rule of thumb in wedding-land to register for that many items...but honestly? I really don't know how that is going to be possible. Mr. Buttons and I do not know where we will be living after the wedding, which makes it VERY difficult for me to select items for our home! Without knowledge of storage space, decor, etc, I just can't choose everything at this point in time! That KitchenAid stand mixer that everyone wants? Well, who knows? I might not have the counter or cabinet space for it (single tear).
So, what did I do, you ask? I built our registries with only the items I knew we needed (with a spattering of a few fun things that were "wants" rather than "needs"). There is still a nice list, but do I have 3 items per guest? Nope....it might be more along the lines of 2 items. And I'm ok with that...
Rebellion #3: I am including "non-traditional" items
Ok, so I do realize that in this day and age it is extremely common to see brides with non-traditional registry items. However, traditionally, brides only registered for housewares. Tools, electronics, and *gasp* honeymoon registries were unheard of. I'd like to think that the guests on my side of the list are "with the times," but I was really surprised to find that I was probably a little wrong about it! Mommy Buttons was out with a friend and they were discussing the wedding. Where we registered came up as a question, and my mother mentioned that I was thinking about setting up a honeymoon registry. Well, yeah...there might have been a comment or two made about how she would never want to contribute to that, that it was wrong...etc. To make a long story short, Mr. Buttons and I abandoned the honeymoon registry idea, but we still maintained some items that are not "typical." For instance, I registered for the CHI hairdryer that I have wanted for a few years now. Sneer at me all you want, but guess what? I use a hairdryer every...single...day. That would likely be one of the most used items on the registry.
"But, Miss Buttons, how rude! That is not a gift for both of you as a couple!"
Well, are those pots and pans really a gift for BOTH Mr. Buttons and I? I can tell you right now: I am quite positive that I will be pretty much the sole user of those as well...and he probably could care less which plates and flatware I chose; he'd be happy eating off of a paper plate with plastic utensils. To be fair...Mr. Buttons DID register for a set of speakers for our TV, so I'm calling it even.
In the end, Mr. Buttons and I DID build registries that we are happy with, but it wasn't without a little bit of stress! Seriously though...to any of you about to create a registry - my one piece of advice is to not worry about putting what is "proper" on your list. Take some time with your significant other to brainstorm a list of what is important to you. Yes, you should listen to the rule that says you should register for items in a range of different price points...don't be crazy and only register for big ticket items. However, if you don't need something, don't feel pressured to register for it. Chances are, if a guest has a very strong inclination to buy you something in particular, they will do it regardless of if you are registered or not!
Did you have a fun time building your registries? Did you find yourself becoming a "registry rebel" in some ways?
